Guys, this is something I have been struggling with a lot lately, and something that I have learned a lot lately. To be honest, I have been getting let down and disappointed a lot. It feels sometimes that the people I call my best friends, I do not even recognize them through their actions and what they have been doing. It is like everyone that I have surrounded myself with somehow find a way to disappoint me. I feel like I know someone, and then their actions prove me wrong.
Obviously, this isn’t true for everyone in my life, and probably less than how I am portraying it, but it is definitely something that I will eventually just have to get used to. Basically, I feel like I give so much of my heart to people and I care about people so deeply, do everything I can to include them, do everything I can to be nice to them, just because that is who I am. I will never just be mean to someone, that is not who I am. And, how I understand it, is that this is our mission on this earth. I am, with my intentions, trying my hardest, although flawed, to treat people how Jesus would treat them. But to be honest, lately I just feel that people use this against me. They know I will always say yes, they know I will feel bad for them, etc.
Basically, what I have learned from my life experiences in the past few months is that I cannot expect what I give. I cannot expect that because I love wholeheartedly and passionately and I care about people and their feelings, that I will receive that in return. The Bible teaches the definition of love as willing the good of the other. Not to get anything in return, but just genuinely because you wish this person good. And I do feel like this is mainly how I love people, but sometimes I just get disappointed by the way people react to this love I give them. I am here to remind you, and to remind myself (because I need the reminder) that it is a sin, the way I am being disappointed by not receiving love in return. God is disappointed in me because that is not what love is. That is not who God created me to be. I was thinking more about this, and it came to me. God is the definition of love. He created love. He loves every single one of us with every single ounce he has. He wills the good of every single human on earth. And guess what, how many people return that love to him? Not even close to everyone that he loves. So, when we are told that we are to love as God loves, we literally are. God does not love people to get that love in return, because if He were to do that, then His heart would be crushed by the billions of people on earth that do not even recognize Him to be real.
So even when you feel let down by the world, remember that God has overcome the world, and focus on your Heavenly Father that is so proud of you.
Also, Santa Margarita Varsity Girls Lacrosse is on fire with a record of 12-2 heading into playoffs so i put a picture of me and my amazing team:)